Okay, so I've been gone for a while, but it's only because I've been too lazy to write! LOL I did write a whole page like a month ago but I forgot to save it and when I came back from my friend's house like two days later it was gone @_@

Okay so what's happening in my life right now.

• I'm extremely happy
• I'm flying to Dayton, Ohio in 5 days for my boyfriend's cousin's Bar Mitzvah!!! and meeting all the Meyerowitz family!!!!!!!
• I'm taking knitting, crochet, sewing and quilting classes
• I almost had a migraine today but I took my medicine in time and it was just a minor headache :)
• I'm leaving to Mount Holyoke (Massachusetts) in about THREE months!
• I have enough money to go to Israel and spend 3 months with my other half in May :DDDD

Life is perfect.

Then again I'm kinda taking medicine hahaha, so no wonder life is perfect ;)

I went to Sarah's house on Monday after about a month of not visiting her! I know, such a jerk I am, but she's been super busy with school since she goes to California State Long Beach and she's doing midterms right now :) Here's another picture of us


So I've been spending most of my week at Maneja's house :D My other bestie, she's going to Fullerton Community College right now and having a great time because she has almost no hw or things to do :) I've seriously been basically living in her house, but this week I have to get ready for Ohio so I have to stay here and finishing grandma Haya's gift, and packing and other things to get ready to meet my new family ;)

I love my bug! He just finished guarding right now (he's in the Israeli army) and we talked for a few minutes on his cell phone since he didn't find a payphone, and since it's 15 cents a minutes we only talked for like 3 minutes. It's like 3am over there so he was sho shleepy, my sweet bunnzly.

Here's a picture of Maneja and I on our graduation :D



That was on Maneja's and I graduation in June, now she wears the hijab and is more religious than ever.

Maneja, Spozhmay and Lena are going to Disneyland on Monday, my neighbor works there the graveyard shift lol so he's getting them in :) Spoz and Lena just arrived from Russa a few months ago, so they have never been to Disney, I'm happy I could help them go.

I'M SO EXCITED! I'M GOING TO OHIO!!! AND I'M GOING TO MY FIRST BAR MITZVAH!

This is the little project I made for Giora's grandma, grandma Haya:


She's coming from Israel along with Pnina, Giora's sister, and I'm meeting them for the first time! I'm meeting everyone for the first time actually, I don't know anybody there lol.

Here's a picture of Pnina and Giora:


That is the love of my life along with his two sisters and his little brother. He already turned 13 but didn't have his bar mitzvah yet..since he was too lazy to learn his torah parts lol.

Pnina is the oldest.

I'm sooo excited, I can't even explain :D

Okay, and I'm also making pajamas in my sewing class, hopefully I'll finish them SOMEDAY lol...

My other project, which is currently on hold due to so many things going on, is actually in this stage:





Toodles!

Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what final fate the gods have, what end the gods will give me or you, Leuconoe. Don't play with Babylonian fortune-telling either. It is better to endure whatever will be.Whether Jupiter has allotted to you many more winters or this final one which even now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite — be smart, drink your wine. Scale back your long hopes to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have {already} fled. Seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow.

- Horace Odes

I need to stop worrying about the future so much because I'm slowly ruining it by forgetting about the present.

My jaw is still locked, but I'm waiting 7 days until I really go to the dentist. I just ate half a watermelon and I feel good :)

I hung out with Highlong, Jonathan, John and Peter yesterday and had SO much fun! We watched District 9 *not something I would usually watch* and ate at an Arab restaurant after. I had just slept over at Maneja's the night before and I forgot Coraline at her house, hopefully I get it back soon so I can watch it for the 5th time :P I really like Coraline.

So my jaw has been locked for 2 days and it's SO ANNOYING. I can't even eat properly so I'm gonna go to the dentist on Monday so that they can give me a shot and make me normal again.

Also my WISDOM TEETH are coming in!! So I'm gonna see if I can get them removed...I'm gonna be the next one with huge cheeks in the line of teens who have gotten them removed from my friends :P Good thing my bunnzly hasn't got them yet, I hope they never come in for him.

Some family friends are coming over from Los Angeles today so my mom was cleaning like crazy loool, it's funny how it's every person in this world that cleans their house crazily when they have guests over.

Giora is in his base right now so he's not home but we talked this morning :D So I'm happy. We talk about every morning but we're always texting through ICQ So it's wonderful.

I'm reading The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down (I know..still! but I have been cross stitching and watching movies and working so it's taken a while) and right now it's at a point that explains the tragic journey of the Hmong from Laos to Thailand to refugee camps in the 70's. Just confirms that the world is truly horrible. Blech.

Working at Golden Spoon has been WONDERFUL! just plain wonderful. Serving yogurt is so much better than being a busser at Disneyland and working in the sun all day, also in parking at the OC Fair. I LOVE this job.

I'm still trying to find a second one though. I was supposed to go for an interview to Staples but I refused since it's far away and in the opposite direction of Golden Spoon.

Okay I'm gonna go clean the kitchen some more and see the family friends after like 3 years. I'm so excited :)

Toodles!

I had another one today, not fun, this one was probably one of the worst, I almost had to go to the hospital but managed to convince them that I really didn't want to.

The lithium seems to not be working properly but then again it takes around a month to really kick in.

The lorazepam works a little, but I can still fight around the relaxation to be bad.

I doubled the dose by myself for two days and I know, it's super bad, so I ended up getting a horrible headache and having to miss work, puking all over at night. I stopped that and didn't want to take it anymore but today I had to, but my feelings were so bad that I went around the relaxed state again,


Oh yeah, I got hired by Golden Spoon and I love the manager and the owner, they're the kindest women ever. That's another thing, I'm glad I'll be working with all women..such a blessing.

I must share with you imporant news from around the world. This one is
actually from my own backyard, Arizona, this Liberian 8 year old was
gang raped by boys ages 9-14..yes...those little bastards learn from a
young age. Her parents actually disowned her, and in Liberia rape is
like getting a scrape on the knee because men have completely taken
over women's bodies, it's not news to me since they have taken over women all over the world.



Right now 70-80% of women in Liberia have been raped, remember
Liberia has been in war for a big while, and men like to use rape as a
weapon of war, just like it's happening in the Congo, how it happened
in Rwanda, etc etc



Right now Africa is like rape land..well, actually the whole world is
like rape land, so Africa is like rape central. Asia is prostitution
land, and child porn land, and child prostitution land, and guess who
pays for it? Awww, yes, you guessed right! The American male... more
than 70% of sex tourism is done by..YES! you guessed again, the
American male.



Is it an illness or where they just born to destroy women? How can we solve this problem do you ask? Well just teach your boys to respect women dammit.




I know that I haven't written in a while, and there's so much going on, but it's really really private stuff.

I'm not going to Mount Holyoke until January, so I have six months to do whatever I want..I will never have this again so I'm gonna take advantage of it.

I will go tomorrow (Monday) to get an assessment so I can start some classes at the community college, and try to find a job as well.

My plan is this: Go to Mount Holyoke in January, meet my new moho friends and become an official college woman! Then in May fly to Israel and be with my other half until September when school starts again :)

I'm planning to study abroad, which almost all mohos do, and we are required to know a second language (for me it would be a third) so I'm deciding between French and Italian...I already know that I have to know Hebrew for sure so I'm gonna take the level 1 Hebrew they offer. (Hebrew obviously because my other half is Israeli and I have to learn Hebrew :) )

He's doing really well with Spanish btw

I've been watching tons of movies through netflix but nothing that I could call one of my favorites...

I watched Walk on Water with the actor from Hatuna Meuheret, Late Marriage. I LOOOVE Ronit Elkabetz though, she's my favorite actress and role model, such a strong female, such a good feminist role model, she was in Late Marriage and Or, which I recommend to you all.

I can't wait until I can actually work towards getting sex solicitors behind bars, 80% of women in prostitution and in porn have been sexually abused as children..no normal person would ever do that kind of stuff, and the disgusting pigs we call males take advantage of every little thing they can, assholes.

Oh yeah also I smoked Hookah for the first time with one of my best friends. And yesterday I went to Hollywood and came back at 4am, then slept over at Sarah's house and then went home finally around 8pm :P We watched 500 Days of Summer and it was really good, the film was actually decent, then we went to eat until around 3am with one of her male friend, which I don't like, ugh.

My cross stitching is coming along real well, I'll take a good picture once I actually want to lol...

SHIT! I have to water the plants at the community garden, shiz, I almost forgot. Toodles!

Reading The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, which I got from Mount Holyoke as a summer read.

Cross Stitching.

Watching movies.

Working every so often.



Nothing else to write about.

The inner struggle is getting stronger and I don't think that I can fight it much longer. The next few weeks will dictate my history.

Other than that, I applied for classes in Fullerton Community College for first semester before I join the women in Mount Holyoke (these plans are 'if' by the way, there might be something else happening). I applied because I'm having high doubts that I want to go to Israel at this point in time. I know I say yes, no, yes, no, but mostly it's yes because I want to get away from my parents, and that's not a valid reason to be in Israel with Giora.

I've been working diligently on my cross stitching, stitching my problems away every time I feel them getting unbearable, and it's worked so far but I don't think that I can continue to stitch my problems together forever, I give myself until July 18th to see if the solution works. What solution? hmm, only I know.

I start work on July 2nd, I am glad I found at least that job. I feel it's irresponsible to borrow money for college and spend the money I could spend on education on a trip to Israel.

My head has been hurting since the early morning and it hasn't stopped all day long.

I had a cooking class at Native Foods (Costa Mesa) with Tanya, the chef, today and it was great. We made Watermelon drinks, kebabs, this yummy potato thing, and a cucumber salad.

I ate too much lol the dessert was this strawberry parfait, all vegan of course.




No matter what anybody does for me or what I do for myself I am not going to be okay because I know that there are so many people that are suffering and I will never be able to help them all. No matter what I do, what anybody does, those horrible issues will always exist and the victims will just refill the amount that we help each time.

My horrible feelings of anxiety and anger and sadness have been subdued by cross stitching. I rediscovered my feelings for CS after I pulled my stuff out after almost 7 years of putting it away. I started when I was 11 one boring summer im Guatemala with my aunt, and never returned, until now.

This is the project I'm planning to do. My goal is in the next 2 months to complete it. It's on 28 count fabric so it's quite the tiny thing.

This stupid thing won't let me upload pictures so I can't show how far I am into it (NOT FAR AT ALL LOL) but this is what it's supposed to look like at the end

http://www.123stitch.com/cgi-perl/itemdetail.pl?item=08-1962

very beautiful. So much hard work.

I told Giora that I'm doing this as a first thing to hang in our house :)

Other than our portrait by the vegan witch of course.

Okay, now to cook and bake and keep stitching!

I'm making delicious vegan buttered potatoes with Parsley and Moroccan olive bread :) Oh and stuffed mushrooms YUM!

He is on the plane to New York as we speak..and then at around midnight he will wait about 12 hours until he boards the plane to Tel Aviv, Israel. I miss him so much I just want to run away and hide in the little wheels of the plane dammit. I haven't cried though because I know I will be seeing him very soon and this is just a tiny physical break so I can work and get enough money for the ticket, but I do get teary eyed and want to cry every five seconds. I love him so much<3

We did sooo much while he was here

Prom
Band banquet
Environmental Club banquet
Random Dinners
Random things in general
Laguna Beach
Rancho Santa Margarita BBQ with his family
Played pool with his pool shark great great uncle!
Graduation




Senior year is over and done with, high school, never again. I have not even one bit of nostalgia considering I've been counting down the seconds until I graduated :D I am so happy to be out of school and in college. I am happy that Giora is in my life and that we make such an amazing team together. I am working at the OC FAIR for about a month and hopefully getting enough money for the ticket to ISRAEL!

I'm leaving to Israel ASAP, I'm only here to get enough money and leave.

I went to a Lebanese restaurant that I love today with Maneja after dropping Giora off at the airport :'( and we ate lentil soup, izze soda, hummus and the owner is the dad of Maneja's friend, so he gave me a free bunch of hummus to go! That made my day  less sad and cheered me up a bit.

I am so jealous of all you stupid couples that are married. In the end people don't even appreciate that they get to be together while others like Giora and I suffer every day because we want to be together...

I am so happy because Giora just called me from New York City! I'm so happy that he's okay and that cheered me up so much. He's checking his luggage right now.

My aunt from Virginia sent me $20 and a really nice bracelet that says Achieve, Success, Believe. That is always what I say and I was SO happy to get it...I will be wearing it a lot along with the beautiful gold bracelet Bunny(Giora) got me for graduation, it has a heart, leaves, flowers, and it's 100% Israeli :)

Follow your dreams
As you strive to achieve
The key to success
Is to always believe

I believe that

• I will be working in the OC FAIR this summer and make enough money to buy a ticket to Israel

• I will be going to Israel for four months to be with my wonderful boyfriend and his family

• I will attend Mount Holyoke in January

• I will be living with Giora about a year from January when his Israeli army term ends and we will work hard to achieve all of our goals together
  

• I will be joining the Peace Corps with Giora
  

I'm going to be in a little world called Giora-Deisy land for the next three weeks so as good as my intentions are of writing anywhere I wont lol... I will write back to you Jenny as soon as I'm out of it :P

Yesterday we met for the first time after 1 year and 3 months... and i almost cried when i hugged him in front of his uncle's house. We spent THE WHOLE day together. I haven't been this happy in about a year and 3 months...

Toodles for now!