He is on the plane to New York as we speak..and then at around midnight he will wait about 12 hours until he boards the plane to Tel Aviv, Israel. I miss him so much I just want to run away and hide in the little wheels of the plane dammit. I haven't cried though because I know I will be seeing him very soon and this is just a tiny physical break so I can work and get enough money for the ticket, but I do get teary eyed and want to cry every five seconds. I love him so much<3

We did sooo much while he was here

Prom
Band banquet
Environmental Club banquet
Random Dinners
Random things in general
Laguna Beach
Rancho Santa Margarita BBQ with his family
Played pool with his pool shark great great uncle!
Graduation




Senior year is over and done with, high school, never again. I have not even one bit of nostalgia considering I've been counting down the seconds until I graduated :D I am so happy to be out of school and in college. I am happy that Giora is in my life and that we make such an amazing team together. I am working at the OC FAIR for about a month and hopefully getting enough money for the ticket to ISRAEL!

I'm leaving to Israel ASAP, I'm only here to get enough money and leave.

I went to a Lebanese restaurant that I love today with Maneja after dropping Giora off at the airport :'( and we ate lentil soup, izze soda, hummus and the owner is the dad of Maneja's friend, so he gave me a free bunch of hummus to go! That made my day  less sad and cheered me up a bit.

I am so jealous of all you stupid couples that are married. In the end people don't even appreciate that they get to be together while others like Giora and I suffer every day because we want to be together...

I am so happy because Giora just called me from New York City! I'm so happy that he's okay and that cheered me up so much. He's checking his luggage right now.

My aunt from Virginia sent me $20 and a really nice bracelet that says Achieve, Success, Believe. That is always what I say and I was SO happy to get it...I will be wearing it a lot along with the beautiful gold bracelet Bunny(Giora) got me for graduation, it has a heart, leaves, flowers, and it's 100% Israeli :)

Follow your dreams
As you strive to achieve
The key to success
Is to always believe

I believe that

• I will be working in the OC FAIR this summer and make enough money to buy a ticket to Israel

• I will be going to Israel for four months to be with my wonderful boyfriend and his family

• I will attend Mount Holyoke in January

• I will be living with Giora about a year from January when his Israeli army term ends and we will work hard to achieve all of our goals together
  

• I will be joining the Peace Corps with Giora
  

My horrible feelings of anxiety and anger and sadness have been subdued by cross stitching. I rediscovered my feelings for CS after I pulled my stuff out after almost 7 years of putting it away. I started when I was 11 one boring summer im Guatemala with my aunt, and never returned, until now.

This is the project I'm planning to do. My goal is in the next 2 months to complete it. It's on 28 count fabric so it's quite the tiny thing.

This stupid thing won't let me upload pictures so I can't show how far I am into it (NOT FAR AT ALL LOL) but this is what it's supposed to look like at the end

http://www.123stitch.com/cgi-perl/itemdetail.pl?item=08-1962

very beautiful. So much hard work.

I told Giora that I'm doing this as a first thing to hang in our house :)

Other than our portrait by the vegan witch of course.

Okay, now to cook and bake and keep stitching!

I'm making delicious vegan buttered potatoes with Parsley and Moroccan olive bread :) Oh and stuffed mushrooms YUM!

The inner struggle is getting stronger and I don't think that I can fight it much longer. The next few weeks will dictate my history.

Other than that, I applied for classes in Fullerton Community College for first semester before I join the women in Mount Holyoke (these plans are 'if' by the way, there might be something else happening). I applied because I'm having high doubts that I want to go to Israel at this point in time. I know I say yes, no, yes, no, but mostly it's yes because I want to get away from my parents, and that's not a valid reason to be in Israel with Giora.

I've been working diligently on my cross stitching, stitching my problems away every time I feel them getting unbearable, and it's worked so far but I don't think that I can continue to stitch my problems together forever, I give myself until July 18th to see if the solution works. What solution? hmm, only I know.

I start work on July 2nd, I am glad I found at least that job. I feel it's irresponsible to borrow money for college and spend the money I could spend on education on a trip to Israel.

My head has been hurting since the early morning and it hasn't stopped all day long.

I had a cooking class at Native Foods (Costa Mesa) with Tanya, the chef, today and it was great. We made Watermelon drinks, kebabs, this yummy potato thing, and a cucumber salad.

I ate too much lol the dessert was this strawberry parfait, all vegan of course.




No matter what anybody does for me or what I do for myself I am not going to be okay because I know that there are so many people that are suffering and I will never be able to help them all. No matter what I do, what anybody does, those horrible issues will always exist and the victims will just refill the amount that we help each time.