The fight
Posted on Jun 28th, 2009
by
Deisy
The inner struggle is getting stronger and I don't think that I can fight it much longer. The next few weeks will dictate my history.
Other than that, I applied for classes in Fullerton Community College for first semester before I join the women in Mount Holyoke (these plans are 'if' by the way, there might be something else happening). I applied because I'm having high doubts that I want to go to Israel at this point in time. I know I say yes, no, yes, no, but mostly it's yes because I want to get away from my parents, and that's not a valid reason to be in Israel with Giora.
I've been working diligently on my cross stitching, stitching my problems away every time I feel them getting unbearable, and it's worked so far but I don't think that I can continue to stitch my problems together forever, I give myself until July 18th to see if the solution works. What solution? hmm, only I know.
I start work on July 2nd, I am glad I found at least that job. I feel it's irresponsible to borrow money for college and spend the money I could spend on education on a trip to Israel.
My head has been hurting since the early morning and it hasn't stopped all day long.
I had a cooking class at Native Foods (Costa Mesa) with Tanya, the chef, today and it was great. We made Watermelon drinks, kebabs, this yummy potato thing, and a cucumber salad.
I ate too much lol the dessert was this strawberry parfait, all vegan of course.
No matter what anybody does for me or what I do for myself I am not going to be okay because I know that there are so many people that are suffering and I will never be able to help them all. No matter what I do, what anybody does, those horrible issues will always exist and the victims will just refill the amount that we help each time.
Other than that, I applied for classes in Fullerton Community College for first semester before I join the women in Mount Holyoke (these plans are 'if' by the way, there might be something else happening). I applied because I'm having high doubts that I want to go to Israel at this point in time. I know I say yes, no, yes, no, but mostly it's yes because I want to get away from my parents, and that's not a valid reason to be in Israel with Giora.
I've been working diligently on my cross stitching, stitching my problems away every time I feel them getting unbearable, and it's worked so far but I don't think that I can continue to stitch my problems together forever, I give myself until July 18th to see if the solution works. What solution? hmm, only I know.
I start work on July 2nd, I am glad I found at least that job. I feel it's irresponsible to borrow money for college and spend the money I could spend on education on a trip to Israel.
My head has been hurting since the early morning and it hasn't stopped all day long.
I had a cooking class at Native Foods (Costa Mesa) with Tanya, the chef, today and it was great. We made Watermelon drinks, kebabs, this yummy potato thing, and a cucumber salad.
I ate too much lol the dessert was this strawberry parfait, all vegan of course.
No matter what anybody does for me or what I do for myself I am not going to be okay because I know that there are so many people that are suffering and I will never be able to help them all. No matter what I do, what anybody does, those horrible issues will always exist and the victims will just refill the amount that we help each time.
I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
- Helen Keller

Help




Dear Deisy,
You can never help everyone. Working in development/humanitarian aid we are confronted with the dilemma of not being able to help everyone on a daily basis. Sometimes it is actually best to help yourself first because that way you might be able to be of stable assistance to others in the future.
Something seems to be tormenting you. I don't know if you feel like talking about it but know that I'll be happy to listen if you feel the need to talk.
Cheers,
J.